Last night, you talked to me. I finally ate dinner at 1 in the morning and when I came back I found a message, and it was from you. We talked of our friend who's going through some pain, and for a moment there I thought I could do it. I can actually be normal with you without being sad again.
Our conversation was cut by my internet connection and I went back to sleep feeling slighlty happier. At the very least, it seemed like you missed talking to me too.
We resumed our conversation today. Somehow, I got sad again. Throughout the day I convince myself that I will be fine, that we will be fine, that I am moving on and soon enough we can be friends who say hi and hello's. However the briefness of your replies, the curtness of your responses and the normalcy of your posts tell me you are okay and I am not. I'm really not okay.
It's past three in the morning and truth be told, I'd welcome another message from you, any minute now.
I know it gets better, I know I will get better. But there are nights which are worse than others. I don't feel very hopeful now. You're probably okay, though. Which is nice.
(I miss you. Still.)
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