I've barely even documented our joys and it ended tonight. This is the worst feeling of sadness I've ever experienced. I wonder how long it will take me to feel happy again. I wish I can bear this with grace and silence. Bear all the pain unnoticed, until the pain is no longer as painful as it is now, until this weight in my chest I can't place no heave away with sighs and tears disappears, until the mere sight of your name no longer sends me crying,  until I'm no longer hoping to see the yellow light that tells me you remembered to send  a text, until I no longer wish for some digital messages to appear. Cats and witticisms and how-are-you's. See, these things attach themselves too. I can't  forget the way you looked at me the first time you tried to hold my hand. I can't forget the time you caught me looking at you while we were studying and you offered your hand for a moment's break. Hey, these things attach themselves too.

I only want the best for you. I hope you be okay and take care. I don't think I'll love for a long time after this. You're right, sir. You'll be hard to replace. It was so different twenty four hours ago. Now it's only silence, and I, I am really missing~ missing you.