Alien

Today:
(1) I ran twice the distance I normally run.
(2) I've been overcome by some explosion of cheese. And I'm sober.
(3) I decided I'll forget about that.
(4) I am actually considering some form of diet, as in contemplating actually lessening my food intake, a concept I have battled with for so long.


I therefore conclude that I have been secretly abducted by aliens in my sleep. I shall now go and look for the implant. I'll start by groping the back of my head.